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Erectile Dysfunction in Young Men: Physical or Psychological?
The biggest cause of erectile dysfunction in young men (men under 40) is psychological. A simple diagnosis of whether your problem is physical or psychological is to answer these three yes-or-no questions:
- Are you under the age of 50? (which I assume you are if you’re reading this article)
- Are you physically healthy? (no major physical problems)
- Can you get an erection by yourself (even just waking up with one)?
If you answered no to any of the above questions, you may want to consult a doctor for a medical diagnosis. If you answered yes to all the above questions, especially the last one, then your problem is most certainly psychological in nature. Go ahead and breathe a big sigh of relief because there’s nothing wrong with you physically. Your penis is perfectly fine and functional. What’s really holding you back is your mind.
The Right Mindset
In order to have a strong erection when you’re with a girl (that same erection you can get while alone), you need the right frame of mind. So what kind of mindset are we talking here? You want your mind to be totally relaxed. No worries, no insecurities, and no pressure. For me personally, I had trouble with erectile dysfunction because of performance related worries when it came time for sex. Even at times when I felt I was relaxed, there were actually unconscious worries running through my mind. And when I realized I wasn’t getting an erection, I would try harder to get one (which actually makes it worse). It wasn’t until I learned the root cause of erectile dysfunction that I was finally able to tackle it head on and eliminate it for good.
The Source of the Problem
So what’s the root cause of erectile dysfunction in a physically healthy young man? Without getting too scientific about it, your nervous system has two modes:
- Relaxation Mode – used for digestion, energy conservation, and sex
- Fight or Flight Mode – in which adrenaline is released and blood is pumped into your limbs
So why do sexual functions only work under the relaxation mode? Well, if our ancestors were in the middle of mating and suddenly faced with a threat, it was best for the blood to flow away from the penis and into the muscles (imagine trying to survive a life or death situation with an erection!). In this day and age it is unlikely for us to be faced with a life or death situation during sex but our bodies still respond accordingly when we are stressed or anxious. Fortunately we are ultimately in control of this response. The key is to train our minds to activate the relaxed side of our nervous system before and during sex.
Activating Your Parasympathetic Nervous System (a.k.a. relaxation mode)
If a friend of mine were struggling with erectile dysfunction and I could only give him one piece of advice, one tip, one single technique, I would teach him how to focus on sensations. When done properly, this will effectively turn off the logical brain and all the worries, anxieties, and over thinking that come with it. In the absence of worry, your body will relax, respond naturally, and become aroused (you’re with a beautiful naked woman for Pete’s sake!).
So how is this done? Well during foreplay you want to focus completely on the sensations you are feeling. Banish all logical thoughts from your mind by focusing solely and completely on things like how nice her lips feel when she kisses you, the softness of her skin and hair, the warmth of her body brushing against your skin. You want to become extremely sensitive to all the feelings and sensations you are experiencing and let them fill up your mind so completely that there’s no space for any other thoughts. No stress about your assignment deadline, no worries about performance, no pressure at all. Just fully experiencing and enjoying this woman; the sights, sounds, and sensations. This is how sex was meant to be. (An added bonus to this is that when you’re fully enjoying her body, the sensations, and the moment, it automatically makes you a better and more sensual lover.)
A Practical Exercise
Focusing on the sensations may sound simple, but it’s definitely easier said than done (especially since we’ve been taught to use our logical brains since elementary school). Here’s a good exercise to start out with:
- Lightly trace your finger on your arm and just focus on the sensations. Try to do this for 5 minutes without thinking of anything else. If you find mind wandering, just refocus your attention on the sensations on your skin.
Erectile dysfunction in young men is 100% fixable. There’s no reason for you (or anyone) to needlessly suffer from it. It may take some knowledge and practice, but when you overcome erectile dysfunction, you’ll be able to get hard AT WILL and you’ll never have to deal with it again. And when you’re in bed with a woman, and enjoying your sex life to the fullest, you’ll know the effort was well worth it.